Wife tells husband about lover

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Wife tells husband about lover

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Have I got my head in the sand and being naive or have we worked this out? Feeling good, but still a bit emotional.

Wife back to her old cheerful, witty, self. Although I am a little concerned by her selfishness and lack of maturity. After 12 years of marriage there must be many who are curious about having sex with another but dismiss it immediately.

They are well aware of the consequences. Also, so what if another man was paying attention to her? As you say she is attractive. Lots of men may give her attention.

She does feel guilty, which is very important of course. But she also diminishes her infidelity by acting as if it were just a bit of fun.

She even said she thought you would be okay with it! How on earth could she ever imagine that? You need to give her a reality check on that one. Make sure she completely understands that you will never ever accept what she did again.

Hello, it was very nice for your wife to come clean. I have access to her accounts as well but at the end of the day we have been 15 years together and 11 of them married with two kids, 9 and 6.

However at least there is honesty now and not resentment. Is your wife is going to have to work with this guy going forward? My wife and I continue to discuss it when I feel the need.

None the less if you are truly committed and she is also then only the skies the limit. Get what you need to make this relationship work.

Now is the time to express your feelings. Michael — glad to hear you are coming to terms with it, although you seem to be hurting more than I am.

Did you catch her in the act? A combination of actually fancying the guy, the guy being a ladies man and the opportunity, away from me in a hotel, to cheat.

Plus her attitude to sex, etc. Certainly an opportunistic one night stand seems to be least the worst of all types of cheating, as any other implies pre-planning, which in turn suggests underlying marriage problems?

I guess most guys feel that their wife will not stray unless there are marital issues, but my experience suggests otherwise?

Women are just down right goofy sometimes. She felt very satisfied that someone about half her age was interested not trying to be offensive. Really though the guy is a scummy scum bag.

I mean any kind of inappropriate touching falls into that category as well. This unfortunately is one of those that may never be solved.

I put it through the chipper shredder just to be safe on my part. I could understand why a wife would be curious about what it would feel like to have sex with another man other than her husband if he had been the only man in her life she had sex with.

But this is not the case with your wife and in fact it is just the opposite from your post above. Extra-marital sex may be fun for couples who embrace non-monogamy but this is because they agreed to it before committing infidelity.

Why did she succumb to that itch now? Could it be a mid-life crisis thing? Lots of men and women go through one after the 40 year old mark, and one of the things they often end up doing is having affairs.

Ask her how would she feel if you hung around male friends who admitted cheating on their wives? Your wife is a very lucky woman because you are a kind, loving and forgiving man one that many women would kill for to have as their husband but if she keeps playing with guns she may not be so lucky the next time.

Counseling for her may be a wise choice. Your wife has played you for a fool! And quite possibly not for the first time too.

She knows what sex is about and has had lots of it. So no curiosity there. Twice a week is nowhere near enough for her. I am sorry to say this but the quality of the sex she has with you does not satisfy her and that maybe is the only thing she is trying to convey to you.

Other than that she knew you would forgive her. I am sure there is a slight feeling of guilt but not enough to make her think too much about it.

And as for sex being just about fun and she thinks you know that about her so it would be OK is pure drivel.

And the one thing that you can count on is that given the chance with another young hot bod, she will do this again. And as I said, she has probably done this before.

Find it difficult to convey her personality in writing, but to people who know her, the casual attitude towards sex and the fact she confessed is not a surprise.

This is not just me, but some friends who know, one who said that he could never imagine my wife being monogamous.

Last year, 3 of her married friends went on a girlie holiday to Ibiza, husbands disapproved strongly, but they went anyway. I thought of all this the other day when the 3 girls came round and starting joking about it with my wife.

But we developed an emotional relationship and after we got engaged we had an exclusive relationship from then until this recent incident.

You do not have a marriage. You just opened the door for her to doing this again, eventually on down the road this will bite you on the backside.

I could understand your attitude if you were just dating and she did it, but you have an agreement that you are exclusive. Why get married and then allow your spouse to sleep with whoever she wants?

Max, first off I do admire a forgiving personality and I am sorry you are going through the anguish associated with infidelity.

What I do want to ask you is more rhetorical than anything. Can you someday look her in the face and not imagine the other man?

I mean can you really in your heart of hearts be able to forgive but not forget?? Betrayal is a venom that there is no antidote for and you must consider your long term ability to walk past anger, resentment and the obvious mistrust you will have, possibly forever.

Prior to getting married, I had flings and one night stands. I rarely became emotionally attached to the men I slept with and was more focused on my own goals in life.

I also slept with my husband within hours of meeting him. We kept things casual with no emotional drama until we both decided we were ready to settle down and we let ourselves become emotionally invested in each other.

Once we married, my husband became my priority. Even though I had casual sexual encounters in the past, the sacred promise of marriage changed everything.

Never have I felt tempted to stray from being a faithful wife. My husband shares the same value of marriage as I do as well. I understand people make mistakes in the heat of the moment.

But your wife made her decision to cheat and she had enough time to stop herself. She knew what she was doing and she knew what she was getting herself into.

It probably my registered in her head multiple times that it was wrong. Entering the room together, undressing each other, being intimate with him, she had control and she pursued it.

Honestly, that alone makes your wife seem pathetic to me. She has some nerve to make you feel uncomfortable as her husband with all that detail.

Maybe she has self-esteem issues. Maybe you should have casual sex with a young hot girl too and let her know about it.

See how she feels. Good luck. You seem very nonchalant about the whole ordeal. I have seen two situations exactly like yours before.

BOTH times the wife promised to never stray again and guess what, they did not stop chasing other men. One of the husbands placed hidden cameras and recording devices and learned that his wife never stopped seeing other guys!

Save yourself further agony and kick her to the curb while you are still young enough to salvage the rest of your life.

You deserve better than a woman who cannot be trusted!!!!!!! The same thing just happened to me. Last Friday my wife came home and told me to sit down?

She looked me straight in the eye and told me she has been having an affair for the last year! I was too shocked to say anything.

It only took her a second to say it started out when I was out of town, they all went out for drinks, and her car would not start.

He offered a ride home, and one thing led to another. After that, she said it was because the sex was just so damn good! I said I thought we had a good sex life as we did it at least a few times a week and she seemed to enjoy it.

She giggled a bit and said well yes I do enjoy our sex life but even more since I have been with him just as much!

Then she said she intended to continue seeing him and if I could not deal then maybe, we should go our separate ways.

Then she got up and said she had to get ready; she had a date! When she got home that night, she was all over me, but she still reeked of his sweat and everything else.

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Click here to Start New Topic. Previous Topic. One afternoon I walked into our bedroom and noticed she'd left her diary on the bed.

This was unusual but, stranger still, it was open. I went to put it in her bedside drawer, but as I closed the pages I caught sight of the word "Colin".

My immediate impulse was to slam the diary shut and try to forget I'd seen his name before it had a chance to sink in.

Instead, I started to read. The entries stretched back months, detailing their covert liaisons - romantic, practical, but mostly sexual.

My jaw ached with panic and I felt the sudden flush of adrenaline. Of course, I confronted her.

I wanted to yell at her, but my initial anger was quickly anaesthetised by shock. I felt numb, confused. With tears in her eyes, she said she hadn't been happy for years and that Colin provided an escape.

At that moment, I didn't know what to say. It was four or five hours before we could sit down and talk. We discussed the usual options, including divorce, but decided to stay together for the sake of the children, make a fresh start.

Next day, she told Colin it was over. We didn't see him for a couple of weeks after that - he'd been driving his lorry on the continent.

But Colin never did return. The news that he had gone missing on a ship, presumed lost overboard, was broken to us by his next-door neighbour. My wife's first reaction was stunned disbelief, as was mine.

Then she turned away and covered her mouth, trying to stifle any sobs. Thoughts and emotions more tangled than ever, I tried to comfort her.

Colin's death was confirmed by the positive identification of a body washed up on the beach. Some weeks later, my wife asked if we could drive to the crematorium so she could lay some flowers and say her final farewells.

It felt strange but, in the hope of her finding some kind of closure, I told myself it was the right thing to do. Somehow, and completely irrationally, I felt involved in Colin's death, as if a personal timeline had been derailed on my behalf and destiny rewritten to rescue a failing relationship.

Slowly we tried to put it behind us and his name was never mentioned again.

Wife Tells Husband About Lover Video

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She constantly chose him instead of me and bragged about how good he waa and how good the sex was and how she couldnt do those things with me.

We got remarried and still continued to reject me sexually put me down and bring thia friend with benefits higher than me her husband.

Yes i need to know the details and the reasons why. You know all you need to know I think i'd be concentrating on why she does you that way in the first place Spitfire's recent blog post: Space in a relationship.

Try to focus on your marriage with her Communication is the first step to a healthy and long marriage. You shouldnt know. Trust me I know how it feels.

If you have retroactive jealousy like me you are just gonna destroy yourself! Stop before its too late!!! I agree sadman R elationship T alk.

How to get wife to tell in detail what she did with a past lover By Guest, 6 years ago on Being Married. Johnny Nicks. So why stay unhappy counting about the past Doubting your wife, her character, her past life, Will only unnecessarily bring mental pressure and unhappiness to you and your wife.

Like magic your life Will turn more happier and will be very successful Happy married life is extremely essential for mental peace.

Why do you want to know? Why did you re-marry this monster? As for the reason, you already know why. It was four or five hours before we could sit down and talk.

We discussed the usual options, including divorce, but decided to stay together for the sake of the children, make a fresh start.

Next day, she told Colin it was over. We didn't see him for a couple of weeks after that - he'd been driving his lorry on the continent. But Colin never did return.

The news that he had gone missing on a ship, presumed lost overboard, was broken to us by his next-door neighbour.

My wife's first reaction was stunned disbelief, as was mine. Then she turned away and covered her mouth, trying to stifle any sobs. Thoughts and emotions more tangled than ever, I tried to comfort her.

Colin's death was confirmed by the positive identification of a body washed up on the beach. Some weeks later, my wife asked if we could drive to the crematorium so she could lay some flowers and say her final farewells.

It felt strange but, in the hope of her finding some kind of closure, I told myself it was the right thing to do. Somehow, and completely irrationally, I felt involved in Colin's death, as if a personal timeline had been derailed on my behalf and destiny rewritten to rescue a failing relationship.

Slowly we tried to put it behind us and his name was never mentioned again. A few years later we had another child and our marriage entered a new, happier phase.

I vowed to be a more attentive husband and adjust my work-life balance. But I couldn't forget the affair, especially how close it had happened to home.

I am sure there is a slight feeling of guilt but not enough to make her think too much about it. And as for sex being just about fun and she thinks you know that about her so it would be OK is pure drivel.

And the one thing that you can count on is that given the chance with another young hot bod, she will do this again.

And as I said, she has probably done this before. Find it difficult to convey her personality in writing, but to people who know her, the casual attitude towards sex and the fact she confessed is not a surprise.

This is not just me, but some friends who know, one who said that he could never imagine my wife being monogamous. Last year, 3 of her married friends went on a girlie holiday to Ibiza, husbands disapproved strongly, but they went anyway.

I thought of all this the other day when the 3 girls came round and starting joking about it with my wife.

But we developed an emotional relationship and after we got engaged we had an exclusive relationship from then until this recent incident.

You do not have a marriage. You just opened the door for her to doing this again, eventually on down the road this will bite you on the backside.

I could understand your attitude if you were just dating and she did it, but you have an agreement that you are exclusive. Why get married and then allow your spouse to sleep with whoever she wants?

Max, first off I do admire a forgiving personality and I am sorry you are going through the anguish associated with infidelity.

What I do want to ask you is more rhetorical than anything. Can you someday look her in the face and not imagine the other man?

I mean can you really in your heart of hearts be able to forgive but not forget?? Betrayal is a venom that there is no antidote for and you must consider your long term ability to walk past anger, resentment and the obvious mistrust you will have, possibly forever.

Prior to getting married, I had flings and one night stands. I rarely became emotionally attached to the men I slept with and was more focused on my own goals in life.

I also slept with my husband within hours of meeting him. We kept things casual with no emotional drama until we both decided we were ready to settle down and we let ourselves become emotionally invested in each other.

Once we married, my husband became my priority. Even though I had casual sexual encounters in the past, the sacred promise of marriage changed everything.

Never have I felt tempted to stray from being a faithful wife. My husband shares the same value of marriage as I do as well.

I understand people make mistakes in the heat of the moment. But your wife made her decision to cheat and she had enough time to stop herself.

She knew what she was doing and she knew what she was getting herself into. It probably my registered in her head multiple times that it was wrong. Entering the room together, undressing each other, being intimate with him, she had control and she pursued it.

Honestly, that alone makes your wife seem pathetic to me. She has some nerve to make you feel uncomfortable as her husband with all that detail.

Maybe she has self-esteem issues. Maybe you should have casual sex with a young hot girl too and let her know about it.

See how she feels. Good luck. You seem very nonchalant about the whole ordeal. I have seen two situations exactly like yours before. BOTH times the wife promised to never stray again and guess what, they did not stop chasing other men.

One of the husbands placed hidden cameras and recording devices and learned that his wife never stopped seeing other guys! Save yourself further agony and kick her to the curb while you are still young enough to salvage the rest of your life.

You deserve better than a woman who cannot be trusted!!!!!!! The same thing just happened to me. Last Friday my wife came home and told me to sit down?

She looked me straight in the eye and told me she has been having an affair for the last year! I was too shocked to say anything.

It only took her a second to say it started out when I was out of town, they all went out for drinks, and her car would not start.

He offered a ride home, and one thing led to another. After that, she said it was because the sex was just so damn good!

I said I thought we had a good sex life as we did it at least a few times a week and she seemed to enjoy it. She giggled a bit and said well yes I do enjoy our sex life but even more since I have been with him just as much!

Then she said she intended to continue seeing him and if I could not deal then maybe, we should go our separate ways.

Then she got up and said she had to get ready; she had a date! When she got home that night, she was all over me, but she still reeked of his sweat and everything else.

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